Death do us part; then on to Match.com
If things were different and Vicki passed before Teddy, chances are he'd be married this time next year. In fact, men are four times more likely to remarry after losing a spouse; 61 percent of men start dating within the first two years, compared to just 19 percent of women. It's ironic that the same men who hem and haw about being dragged into marriage — there's a reason women set ultimatums — are the ones who rush to find a ball and chain so soon after losing their spouse.
Abel Keogh, who lost his wife when he was 26 years old, echoes this feeling.
"In my case, I really missed being married," he says. "You can share your problems, your joys. You take pleasure in their life and they take pleasure in yours." Mr. Keogh has gone on to write a book on grieving for men, "Room for Two," and runs the online Facebook group, "Dating a Widower." He tells men who have lost a spouse and are considering dating again to take a step back and evaluate the situation. "Make sure it's for the right reasons," he says, "and not just because you're lonely."
Which is good advice for all of us. So often we rush into relationships wanting to be known and we are quick to dismiss our partners when they fail to comprehend us fully. Instead of dashing headlong into a break-up at the first sign of discord, we would be wise to stick with some relationships for the long haul. To know someone fully — and to be known by them — takes time. For most of us, that means a lifetime.
>>Send your dating tips, questions, and disasters to: firstname.lastname@example.org